Mine, and occasionally others'.
Please note that this should be read with a satirical tone.
To the owners of the domain name TheBigJ.com:
I understand that you have purchased this domain name and are in the process of establishing a website named The Big J. I further understand that the 'Big J' to whom you refer is one Jesus, previously resident of Nazareth and whom you and several million other people believe to be a deity.
A brief comment prompted by the verdict in the trial of Oscar Pistorius for killing Reeva Steenkamp:
I've been trying to glean
What the court might mean
By 'culpable homicide'
I now understand -
You were a bit out of hand
And someone or other died
It is incumbent on poets to compose verse to mark royal occasions. So here is my effort concerning the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's announcement that one is expecting:
Radio Four is deeply concerned
The lady next door has recently learned
The worrying news that she's pregnant again
How will she cope with the stress and the strain?
Aw. Dontcha just love 'em?
How is it that when the weather warms up, some men think it is ok to shout out comments about a woman's appearance - and expect us to take it as a compliment?!
The Health Secretary’s named Jeremy Hunt
He sits on the benches at front
It would, inter alia,
Insult female genitalia
To call him a vile Tory cunt
The Foreign Secretary’s called William Hague
His purpose in life is quite vague
We sent him to Iraq
But they sent him straight back
Saying they’d rather have a dose of the plague
Written for Prince George, then still a foetus, in 2012 - to the tune of Away In A Manger:
It won’t need a manger,
a crib or a bed
For the new royal baby
to lay down its crowned head
The stars and the tyrants
will come and give praise
The little future monarch
whose patronage pays