Poetry

Work hard, be conscientious, be afraid
Your life won't be worth living if you fail
The only thing that matters is your grade

Feel guilty for each error you have made
Learn quotes by rote and don't stop to exhale
Work hard, be conscientious, be afraid

Of falling short of A-star accolade
Don't eat, don't sleep, travail your skin to pale
The only thing that matters is your grade

Boris Johnson nominates
the President of the United States

He says the Nobel Prize for Peace
should go to Donald Trump

But that joker has been played before
No satire in it any more

Irony died, doesn't he see?
when Kissinger won it in seventy-three

This poem was published on Poetry24 on 11 May 2018.

Performances booked so far. Click for details - and keep checking back for updates!:

• 8 May: Guesting with Amy Klinsman, Sheffield
• 10 May: Well Spoken! Doncaster
• 17 May: Broxtowe Labour Party, Notts
• 28 May: Spoken Word Paris
• 29 May: Berkeley Books, Paris
• 2 June: Glastonwick festival
• 6 June: Soapbox Culture, Plymouth
• 8 June: Hackney, London
• 9 June: Something Else Sistafest
• 10 June: Gedling Labour Party, Notts
• 11 July: Loose Muse, London
• 13 July: Chesterfield Labour Club
• 14 July: Lava Elastic, Brighton
• 6 September: Hat Factory, Luton
• 14 January 2019: Loose Muse, Winchester

If you are interesting in booking Janine to perform Disaffected Middle-aged Women, email Janine.

Sorry?
Is
Jeremy Hunt
for real?

Up to 270 dead is
the toll of that 'glitch'

That is
Hundreds of women gone
unscanned, untreated

Hundreds of women gone

That is
the toll of that 'glitch'
Up to 270 dead is 
for real.

Jeremy Hunt
is
sorry.

Filmed on location at Grenfell Tower by Adrianne McKenzie.

Hi there, it's Ashleigh
  from the Daily Mail
I've smelled a story
  I'm on the trail
I want to sound street
  and your tweets are sick, mate
I'm getting desperate
  for some clickbait

Hi there, it's Ashleigh -
  you're at the scene
I'm in my office
  and I'm really keen
To get a tasty
  stabbing quote
About some feral,
  lowlife scroat