Mostly Hating Tories
Add to My Calendar

What shall I do on this fine day?
There's so much on my list
A mix of work and rest and play
I'm sure you get my gist
And maybe I'll compose a rhyme -
But my unwritten law is
That every day I'll spend my time
Mostly hating Tories.

I'll go to work, some bills I'll pay
That's if I'm feeling rash,
To see her through to payment day
I'll lend my friend some cash,
I'll probably make my kids some tea
And read them bedtime stories
Of homeless piggies one, two, three
And why they hate the Tories.

I'll hate them for the bedroom tax
I'll hate them for the cuts,
For living off the workers' backs
I'll hate their very guts,
Look, see the depths to which they'll sink,
They don't know where the floor is,
That’s why I'll spend my day, I think,
Mostly hating Tories.

What's that you say? That hate's not nice? 
Please love thine enemy?
Well yeah, I tried that once or twice
It doesn't work for me,
And if you think that's not fair play
Remember this, you must:
The Tories, they will spend their day
Mostly hating us.

A history of evil done
Will justify my hate,
I still detest the Tory scum
For Section Twenty Eight,
Nye Bevan built the NHS
So he knows what the score is:
And he said vermin come out best
Compared with bloody Tories.

[extra verse added for Pride 2015]
Among Pride's stars and thespians
Were Stonewall 69ers
Trade unionists and Lesbians
And Gays Support the Miners 
So let's remember if we may
The Pits and Perverts stories
We didn't get where we are today
Without Mostly Hating Tories

[extra verse for the Tolpuddle Festival]
They've thresholds, scabs, and if you're rude
On pickets, then they'll jail you
Perhaps their Bill may still include
Transportation to Australia 
This isn't fairness as they say
Look, we know what class war is
If Tolpuddle's Martyrs were here today
They'd be mostly hating Tories

I'm sure I'll find time to revile
That UKIP and its drivel
And I'll locate a little while
To loathe a lonesome Liberal,
I'll maybe pause to show regret
For Labour's missing glories
But save the fiercest fury yet
For mostly hating Tories.

For generations and hereon
Our class and those before us
Grew up to know which side we're on:
The side that's not the Tories,
So when I die, do this for me -
Inscribe and sing in chorus
Here lies Janine, her life spent she
Mostly hating Tories.

 

 

This poem was published on the Proletarian Poetry website on 21 November 2017.