Up the Republic!

Princess Anne

Married a man

Who served in the Forces

Ah well - horses for courses

Henry the Third
was somewhat absurd
He endorsed the Great Charter
and ignored it thereafter

The Duke spent the day
At home recovering from
Not having been hurt

-----

He's not Bo or Luke
But events do suggest that
The Duke's a hazard

-----

Breaking news just in:
It seems that there were people
In the other car

The established religion
is
this:

Royals
bring gifts to baby
born in poverty

Now those
born in poverty
bring gifts to baby
Royals

This
is
the established religion

God save one's gracious tax
Long live one's noble sacks
God save one's tax
Send it on holiday
Make sure the proles all pay
I own the islands anyway
God save one's tax

One has to be much shrewder
Deposit some in Bermuda
And some offshore
Take all the dosh one's got
Fill up one's golden pot
And stash it on the Royal Yacht
Then get some more

The Palace ceiling's showing cracks
The servants' quarters may collapse
They can't afford the Bedroom Tax
Please help our Royals In Need

On screen a choked-up millionaire
Is holding tight to Pudsey Bear
Defy their pleadings if you dare
Dig deep for Royals In Need

Today is Queen Elizabeth's 90th birthday, and the media is awash with fawning coverage. Yesterday, queen of entertainment Victoria Wood died. This is a respectful reworking of Victoria Wood's classic Ballad of Freda and Barry (Let's Do It).

Freda and Barry sat one day
Debating the issues that came their way
Freda thinks equality's the way ahead
But Barry likes Harry and so he said ...

I'd puke for the Duke
And I'd hurl for an Earl
But I'm really not keen
On a clean for the Queen

I'd kill for the thrill
Of a gunfight with Phil
(Or with Harry or Will)
I'd chuck for the Duchess
And wince at the Prince
But I will not be seen
To clean for the Queen

A poem on the occasion of the death of King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia.

Royal flag at half-mast flies
Forgotten victim sadly sighs
Only another despot cries
When a bloody tyrant dies

The great and good will eulogise
Sing loud his praise to blood-red skies
Soft-wrap his crimes in sweet disguise
When a bloody tyrant dies

Written back in around 1993:

Constance Markievicz and the other women who fought in the Easter Rising struggled to be accepted on equal terms by the Irish labour movement and among nationalists. Their experience holds many lessons for today's socialists and feminists.

By Janine Booth.