Up the Republic!

counterchec, rubbernec

strikebrea, pissta,

heartbrea, troublema

multitas, unmas

bluestoc, foreloc

motherfuc, bloodsuc

wisecrac, backtrac

benchmar, disembar

pawnbro, keystro

stockbro, anti-smo,

undercoo, overloo

hyperlin, freethin

hallmar, reembar

hitchhi, motorbi

bootlic, politic

rollic, nitpic

lovema, muckra

I pledge allegiance to my sons
to witty jokes and dreadful puns

I pledge allegiance to Aussie soaps
to chasing all my dreams and hopes

I pledge my allegiance to the Borough boys
to Lewes FC, to making noise

I pledge allegiance to classic scooters
I pledge to battle persecutors

to fight injustice till it's gone
I pledge to keep on keeping on

I'd rather do a highland fling
Or tie my nipples up with string
Impale my buttock on a spring
I'd rather do most anything
Than pledge allegiance to a king

I'd risk the wrath of Merciless Ming
Or face what fierce tornados bring
I'd rather drape myself in bling
Or swallow insects on the wing
Than pledge allegiance to a king

Where is your title from?

My father.

No, but where is it really from?

It’s been in the family for years.

But where did your people get it from?

Autumn falls and storm clouds brew
The post each day brings season's chill
The queue moves on a step or two

The last demand is overdue
It stands unopened on the sill
As autumn falls and storm clouds brew

They stand in file to give their due
A strung-out wait to pay their bill
The queue moves on a step or two

A fortnight back, complaining about
having to wait behind two others
to use the cashpoint

Now, happy to stand all day and night
to file past a box
with a crown and a cushion on top

and inside, the body of
someone you never knew -
it's the nearest you could ever get to her

It's the ultimate display of Britishness:
an awesome combo of
queueing and deference

Companies have suspended polluting the air
Governments have suspended cutting our care

Energy firms have suspended price rises
Landlords have suspended nasty surprises

Employers have suspended exploiting our labours
Lobbyists have suspended cashing in favours

Bosses have suspended giving the sack
Oh, they haven't? So, why have we suspended fighting back?

Princess Anne

Married a man

Who served in the Forces

Ah well - horses for courses

Henry the Third
was somewhat absurd
He endorsed the Great Charter
and ignored it thereafter

The Duke spent the day
At home recovering from
Not having been hurt

-----

He's not Bo or Luke
But events do suggest that
The Duke's a hazard

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Breaking news just in:
It seems that there were people
In the other car