Hating Tories

I've Got Your Number

money in pocket

My profit margin's wracked with doubt
My tax demands encumber
I think I know a good way out -
Now, where is Johnson's number?

I manufacture hoovers, mate,
but with a bit of luck
I'm sure I'll make them ventilate
and blow instead of suck

I'll slip the goods through Pirate Bay
and ship them up the Humber
While Customs look the other way -
Now, pass me Johnson's number

Capitalism and Greed

headling greed is good
The loose-tongued Prime Minister
claimed that capitalism and greed
made the vaccine succeed.
 
Really?
 
I don't remember
selecting my injection
from the many assembled
on a free-market stall.
Not at all.

Credit Where It's Due

twenty pounds

Some people know what it is worth.

Some people can now buy fresh fruit.
Or keep the heating on for another hour.
Some people can get a decent present
for the kiddo's birthday.
Or a coat when winter comes in.
Some people don't always have to make an excuse
when their mate invites them out.

The Prime Minister Speaks on the Occasion of One Hundred Thousand U.K. Covid Deaths

Boris is sorry - deeply sorry -
for every life that's been lost

Johnson is worried - deeply worried -
about the political cost

He takes responsibility - full responsibility -
for all of the government's actions

Johnson is possibly - in all probability -
counting financial transactions

Funny Not Funny

Charlie Elphicke

Charlie Elphicke:
a gift to the comic
Fancy the fun for
the writer of ribald rhyme

Lampooning his lechery
and wittily wagging his words
Absolutely absurd!

But no laughter lines from me
Sexual assault is serious,
is virulent, has victims.

Sordid story:
Naughty Tory.

How to Run a Daily Briefing

Hancock at Briefing

If you can, find figures that
make Britain look better
than other countries.

If you can't, then explain that
foreigners count differently
from us Brits.

If asked questions
about health and care workers,
say that they are heroes.

If pressed about their PPE, tests,
working conditions or isolation pay,
say again that they are heroes.

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