Hating Tories

Funny Not Funny

Charlie Elphicke

Charlie Elphicke:
a gift to the comic
Fancy the fun for
the writer of ribald rhyme

Lampooning his lechery
and wittily wagging his words
Absolutely absurd!

But no laughter lines from me
Sexual assault is serious,
is virulent, has victims.

Sordid story:
Naughty Tory.

How to Run a Daily Briefing

Hancock at Briefing

If you can, find figures that
make Britain look better
than other countries.

If you can't, then explain that
foreigners count differently
from us Brits.

If asked questions
about health and care workers,
say that they are heroes.

If pressed about their PPE, tests,
working conditions or isolation pay,
say again that they are heroes.

Hancock's Half Hour

Tony Hancock

Broadcast at five o'clock
to millions of eager viewers

Our hapless hero
tackles the latest crisis

Trying to sound authoritative
but never quite in control

His spivvy mate
usually gets the better of him

It's not Railway Cuttings
it's Downing Street

It's a situation
but it's not comedy

 

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The End of the End of Austerity

Sajid Javid MP

It's the end of the end of austerity
Can you believe the temerity?
Sajid has said
That his promise is dead
But the few will retain their prosperity

"Austerity no more" is no more
The previous promise ignored
The election is done
And the Tories have won
And the rule of the market is law

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