I wanted to clap at the funeral today
But I think that is seen as poor taste
I longed to applaud such a brilliant speech
But I feared it would seem out of place
I wanted to shout 'Hear! Hear!' when you said
Deceased was a wonderful chap
The whole of me knew this was so very true
I was craving to let out a clap
I wouldn't have whooped, or whistled, or cheered
Or given a standing ovation
But your tribute was funny, and bang on the money
It deserved our polite acclamation
I managed to keep to a smile and a weep
And ensured that the tone wasn't ruined
But it will be fine if you all clap at mine
- Just hold back on the hissing and booing
This poem is included in the book, The Big J vs The Big C: issues, experiences and poems in the battle against breast cancer