Please note that this should be read with a satirical tone.
To the owners of the domain name TheBigJ.com:
I understand that you have purchased this domain name and are in the process of establishing a website named The Big J. I further understand that the 'Big J' to whom you refer is one Jesus, previously resident of Nazareth and whom you and several million other people believe to be a deity.
I write to advise you that I have been trading as a performance poet under the name The Big J since around 1983 and therefore challenge your right to use this name. This is evidenced by more than 100 public appearances, the publication of my poems in various fanzines, and the inclusion of my seminal work 'The Housewife's Trial' on the Neurotics' long-player 'Kickstarting a Backfiring Nation', a work described by a leading music newspaper as 'a hilarious skit on washing powder consumerism' and still available on CD and from all good download sites.
Please provide evidence that you have been trading as The Big J for longer than I have. I of course accept that Jesus has been trading as a Messiah for approximately two millennia, and that His works are more widely read than mine. However, I am unaware of His going by 'The Big J' until now. Indeed, it seems a rather frivolous and flamboyant moniker for a deity renowned for His humility.
I can assure you that I do not claim to rival the popularity or public profile of Mr Christ. Neither do I claim that my father is a god. I don't think he does either - in fact, he is quite a fan of your god.
Please further note that my work is secular, and that association with a religious website such as the one you appear to be constructing may have a damaging effect on my reputation among fellow secularists and rationalists.
I discovered your claim to TheBigJ.com while attempting to set up a website of that name myself. I request that you desist from publishing said website until we have established whether you or I own the rights to this name.
I may of course need to challenge any claim of the Court to serve God, as this would suggest bias.
Yours in sincere secular solidarity
Janine Booth (The Big J)