Real Rape
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If she's drunk or she's flirty
Or a boozy young floozy
If she likes talking dirty
If she isn't that choosy
If she touched him or kissed him
And she then changed her mind
If she's scared to resist him
If she liked it last time
If most everyone knows
That she usually says yes
If she shows off her toes
If she wears a tight dress
If she's not in great shape
Then it's not really rape
- Is it?

If the guy is her boyfriend
If they're out on a date
If they shared some enjoyment
If they stayed up quite late
If he's rich or he's famous
Or a top football star
Then it's not quite the same, that's
Just going too far
If the man is convicted
But he keeps on denying
Says it's wrongly depicted
If his girlfriend stands by him
If his name's in the paper
Then he didn't really rape her
- Did he?

If the girl never fought it
If she lay back and cowered
If she didn't report it
Until after she'd showered
If she didn't speak out
Until months or years later
Then there's reasonable doubt
About this perpetrator
And if nobody saw
And if nobody heard
Then you need something more
Than just that woman's word
With no videotape
Then it's not really rape
​- Is it?

If it comes to a court
We'll explain to the jury
That we all know her sort
You know, hell hath no fury
She's just angry and bitter
Cos he's dumped her and left
And it's not like he hit her
She's just sad and bereft
If she's mentally ill
Then you cannot believe her
She's forgotten her Pill
She is scared that he'll leave her
It's a trick, lie or jape
But it's not really rape
- Is it?

It is not really rape
It's just bad bedroom manners
It is not really rape
She's just trying to scam us
"It's not rape", says a shirt
"It's a snuggle with a struggle"
She's not really hurt
She's just trying to cause trouble
It's not really a crime
It's another blurred line
You know men don't have time
To decode every sign
On the sexual landscape
So it's not really rape
- Is it?

Real rape takes place
In a poorly-lit lane
With a mask on the face
Of a man who's insane
Real rape's committed
By sick monsters with knives
And by psychos and rippers
Not by ordinary guys
Real rape victims are angels
They're sober and chaste
They're jumped on by strangers
They report it post haste
And they try to escape -
We'll accept that's real rape

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Please let's stop making out
There are some rapes worth less
Or they somehow don't count
As the slogans will stress
That wherever we go
And however we dress
The word "no" still means no
Only "yes" can mean yes
If she says neither word
Or you can't really tell
Then she hasn't concurred
And so that's "no" as well
It's consent seals the deal -
And without it, rape's real.