Performance Review
Add to My Calendar
Tick cross

It's our annual meet
to judge how you've conformed
So please take a seat
- how have you performed?

Your targets aren't SMART
and it's really a shame
That you didn't take part
in our team-building game

Your goals are alright
but you soon come a-cropper
You're quite impolite
to our mystery shopper

Out-of-box thinking
is not on your radar
You haven't an inkling
you're not a cascader

You don't seem on board
with the company's mission
We just can't afford
to maintain this position

In our Jungian scheme
you will need to be yellow
Not earthy and green
but a sunshiney fellow

We need to touch base
about low-hanging fruit
Cos I can't see your face
in a company suit

You don't swim with the stream
or look under the bonnet
I'm picking the team
and your name isn't on it

Your ratings are static
I need to see movement
Your score's problematic
there's room for improvement

So I'll tick in this box
and we'll put you on trial
If you pull up your socks
if you serve with a smile

If you get off your arse
let me give you a steer
Then we'll re-do this farce
at the same time next year