You’ve voted Labour all your life?
We don’t trust you, pal, or your wife
I’ve made an entry in my casebook
You posted something rude on Facebook
You want to know: what did you do?
Well guess what? We’re not telling you!
Left-wing stances you’re absorbing
Seen your Twibbon – voting Corbyn
Owen Smith’s our candidate
A normal fellow, nice and straight
He’s got a massive apparatus
Going through your Facebook status
You tweeted something rather bitter
You don’t have an account on Twitter?
We won’t let facts get in the way
Of keeping hostile hordes at bay
You hate the Tories and we’ve heard
You might have used a naughty word
You uttered ‘comrade’ as a greeting
You rolled your eyes once in a meeting
You’re friends with lots of lefty blighters
You fucking love Foo fucking Fighters
(I mean, that’s really fucking rough
– If you’d said Coldplay, fair enough)
You have opinions in your head!
Your profile picture’s framed in red!
We heard that once you voted Green!
We don’t know where your hands have been!
You’re a Trot, an entryist, a hater
Called Emily Thornberry a traitor
Oh hang on, that one was Tom Watson?
He can stay, he’s useful flotsam
Of course Lord Sainsbury is fine
He keeps his loyalties in line
Gave millions to the opposition
How dare you question his position?
And Michael Foster? Splendid chap!
Called you Nazis? What’s wrong with that?
Wrote it in the Daily Mail
Ironic sense of humour fail
We’ll shoot the bastards one by one
Before our Party’s overrun
The only party of them all
That wants its membership to fall
We’ll dig an ever deeper hole
Before we let go our control
We’ll sell our Party’s heart and soul
But we won’t let members take control
