Blog: The Big J vs The Big C

Making the breast of a bad situation ...
On 4 October 2016, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This blog will chart my progress through treatment, and continued enjoyment of life, love and friendship.
​Expect humour, irreverance, occasional sadness, and staunch defence of the National Health Service.
​Btw, that picture is not me. :-)

Telling People

When the nurse had given me the lump lowdown, she asked me if I had any questions.
I didn’t want to ask about medical stuff – they had already told me loads and the rest was in the book or on the end of a phone. So I blurted out pretty much the only question I cared about: How do I tell my kids?

Diagnosis Day

Being me, I fucked up even attending the appointment. Got the time wrong (thought it was at 10:40; it was 10:20) then spent ten minutes in a queue I didn't expect to be there.
​We'll see if we can squeeze you in, they said, and squeeze me in they did. I expect there is going to be a lot of squeezing in - and some squeezing out - over the next few months.

Tumour Humour: Titter Ye Not

They're big and they're flopsy
They had a biopsy

Wore a gown like a nightie
My clothes in the lockers
Some people like me
But I do have my knockers

Tubes in my boobs
Making maps of my baps
Taking bits of my tits
Then I got the answer
It's cancer
Oh shit

Next appointment
They will be pointing
Their surgical pistols
Straight at my Bristols

Bad News and Rules

Dear Friends. Today I got the news that I've been expecting/dreading since I noticed a couple of weeks ago that my right breast had changed shape. I have breast cancer.
I have a 2.5cm lump, and the good news is that it hasn't spread to my lymph nodes. I will have an MRI scan next week, then surgery within a month, to be followed by further treatment.
In the meantime, here are the rules:

Lives Shortened

Jeremy Hunt
for real?

Up to 270 dead is
the toll of that 'glitch'

That is
Hundreds of women gone
unscanned, untreated

Hundreds of women gone

That is
the toll of that 'glitch'
Up to 270 dead is 
for real.

Jeremy Hunt




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