Blog: The Big J vs The Big C

Making the breast of a bad situation ...
On 4 October 2016, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This blog will chart my progress through treatment, and continued enjoyment of life, love and friendship.
​Expect humour, irreverance, occasional sadness, and staunch defence of the National Health Service.
​Btw, that picture is not me. :-)

Joke of the Day

My breast tumour has been sent to the USA, where tests revealed that it is an aggressive, slimy piece of tissue that attacks women. Donald Trump is considering appointing it to a senior post.

A Communication Cock-up and a Transatlantic Trip

Readers may recall that at my last appointment with the breast surgeon (2 December), I was told that I was being referred to the oncologist to determine what treatment I need to have next. I'd hear from them within two weeks, and I should feel free to chase this up. So, naturally I did - repeatedly - and was told - repeatedly - that said appointment would be today or tomorrow.

Infection Dejection

I guess when you have a 15-inch surgical wound, there is a fair chance that an inch or two of it may become infected. But when it does, it is horrid, painful, smelly, leaves a worse scar and - more worryingly - may delay the treatment needed to keep the cancer from coming back.

Big Breast Cancer

While identical in its pathology to general breast cancer, Big Breast Cancer has its own peculiar symptoms and foibles.

Big breast cancer:
Basically, biologically, clinically
Bog-standard breast cancer
But brings complications

Bad bastard cells
Build big clumps
Burrowed, buried, concealed
Beneath buxom cover
Before being caught

Bored Now: Post-Op Weeks 2 and 3

OK, so the novelty has worn off now, and sitting round recovering is beginning to, erm, get on my tits.

The big long wound is healing very slowly. The other wound, under my armpit, has a stubborn sore patch next to it. Eight days after the surgery, it was Booby Tuesday again, so I had another walk up to the GP's surgery to have the dressings changed again, and get some advice on what to do.

Post-Op Week One

Back home from the hospital on the very (Mon)day that I had the operation, I felt remarkably cheery and pain-free. Obviously the anaesthetic hadn't worn off fully.


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