Blog: The Big J vs The Big C

Making the breast of a bad situation ...
On 4 October 2016, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This blog will chart my progress through treatment, and continued enjoyment of life, love and friendship.
​Expect humour, irreverance, occasional sadness, and staunch defence of the National Health Service.
​Btw, that picture is not me. :-)

You'll SHARE if you CARE

Today, little hearts have been appearing on Facebook walls. No message, no explanation, just a heart. Apparently this will help the fight against breast cancer. Huh?

Some undoubtedly well-meaning friends messaged me (and probably all their other friends) asking me to post said heart. Instead, I posted this:

Bllleeeuuurrrggghhhh Humbug

In my 20s, I would have spent most of New Year's Day in bed because I didn't go to bed until the Day was well under way. A little later, a hangover might have kept me in bed all day. Then with the advent of kids, no days could be spent in bed, least of all New Year's. Now I'm 50, New Year's Day has been spent largely in bed dealing with cancer treatment side effects.

Result!

Finally, my results are back from the USA, and at an appointment at Bart's hospital this morning, the oncologist set out my treatment plan.

The good news is that I don't need chemotherapy. Although I quite liked the idea of all my hair falling out, the idea of months of feeling rubbish and running to the loo to puke several times a day did not fill me with excitement. So, no yodelling down the great white canyon for me. Hurrah.

Battle Scars

Penicillin
is killing
the infection.
Inspection
revealed
it's healed.
I brandish
the bandage
removed
from the wound.
My breast
undressed.

Joke of the Day

My breast tumour has been sent to the USA, where tests revealed that it is an aggressive, slimy piece of tissue that attacks women. Donald Trump is considering appointing it to a senior post.

A Communication Cock-up and a Transatlantic Trip

Readers may recall that at my last appointment with the breast surgeon (2 December), I was told that I was being referred to the oncologist to determine what treatment I need to have next. I'd hear from them within two weeks, and I should feel free to chase this up. So, naturally I did - repeatedly - and was told - repeatedly - that said appointment would be today or tomorrow.

Infection Dejection

I guess when you have a 15-inch surgical wound, there is a fair chance that an inch or two of it may become infected. But when it does, it is horrid, painful, smelly, leaves a worse scar and - more worryingly - may delay the treatment needed to keep the cancer from coming back.

Big Breast Cancer

While identical in its pathology to general breast cancer, Big Breast Cancer has its own peculiar symptoms and foibles.

Big breast cancer:
Basically, biologically, clinically
Bog-standard breast cancer
But brings complications

Bad bastard cells
Build big clumps
Burrowed, buried, concealed
Beneath buxom cover
Before being caught

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