Disinfected Middle-Aged Women
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The Disaffected Middle-Aged Women are having a spell in hospital ...

A ward where women fight cirrhosis
Cysts or endometriosis
Battling germs with hourly doses
We're Disinfected Middle-Aged Women

Sutures, dressings and a clip
Special socks so we don't slip
En route to the loo with an IV drip
We're Disinfected Middle-Aged Women

Our eyes and wounds are prone to weeping
We're awake but rather would be sleeping
Because of that infernal bleeping
We're Disinfected Middle-Aged Women

We came here hobbling on the bus
We didn't want to make a fuss
But now they're mopping up the pus
We're Disinfected Middle-Aged Women

We're struggling with the bandage flaps
And half-filled cheese and onion baps
Bring yoghurt and falafel wraps!
We're Disinfected Middle-Aged Women

Bring crosswords or we'll get so bored
Put Call The Midwife on 'record'
And rename this the DMAW ward
We're Disinfected Middle-Aged Women

And if Theresa bloody May
Dares show her face round here today
She'll regret it - that's all I'll say
We're Disinfected Middle-Aged Women

We know the score, we're smart and suss
We'll tie the Tories in a truss
Save the NHS cos it saves us
We're Disinfected Middle-Aged Women