A Bad Night for Ashleigh
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Hi there, it's Ashleigh
  from the Daily Mail
I've smelled a story
  I'm on the trail
I want to sound street
  and your tweets are sick, mate
I'm getting desperate
  for some clickbait

Hi there, it's Ashleigh -
  you're at the scene
I'm in my office
  and I'm really keen
To get a tasty
  stabbing quote
About some feral,
  lowlife scroat

Hi there, it's Ashleigh
  from the Daily Mail
Is anyone there?

Please reply ...
  It's only fair

Why is everyone
  ignoring me?

Ah, here's a reply -
  now let me see

"Piss off, Ashleigh"